Lame excuse. I foresee more writing in the future now that our contract with OBV is complete.
As the title of this post suggests, Thuy and I will be coming home later this year. If you know me, then you know that I have a self-imposed requirement to make explanations more drawn out than is otherwise necessary.
Please indulge me while I provide color to the story.
May, August, Fall/Winter
Thuy will come home by herself in mid-May to take up contract doctor work (i.e. "locums" in doctor parlance).
I will come home in mid-August. Considering that this is the last time I will have this level of language immersion, Thuy and I agreed that I should stay behind a few more months to continue my Vietnamese language studies and attempt the Vietnamese proficiency exam. Furthermore, these extra few months will give me enough time to find my Krav replacement for the OBV girls and pursue other pet projects--being the host of the Vietnamese T.V. show Việt Nam Đất Nước Tôi Yêu being one of them.
Once I'm back, Thuy and I will take part in the wedding of two very close and dear friends at the end of August. After that, we will once again pack our bags and head back out to Asia for two months for one last travel hurrah. We will attempt to visit every East and Southeast Asia country--I'm still undecided about North Korea. I may stay in Japan a week (or two?) longer than Thuy, and most of that time will assuredly be spent in karaoke rooms.
Once we have that out of our system--doubtful, this travel bug is most likely permanent--we'll come back to Seattle in the fall or winter and resume our respective careers. Procreation may also be a possibility. We're still in contract talks.
"I Thought You Were Staying Longer?"
Indeed, when we set out on this trip, and even a month into our stay here, we both left open the possibility of finding employment and staying here longer than a year. However, after a few months, the following realizations came into place.
Finding a job that Thuy likes (i.e. one that would aptly use her skills sets and compensate her accordingly) would be close to impossible. While Thuy is a family doctor by trade, it turns out that the practice of family medicine is neither firmly established as an actual practice nor valued by the general population. While employment at one of the fanciest clinics in Saigon was an actual possibility, she would've been paid a local wage, and she wouldn't be doing the type of doctor work that she is qualified and trained to do.
Sans a desired occupation and her close support network of friends and family, life for her would've been challenging at best. Thuy decided to go home.
As for myself, finding the kind of employment I was used to and familiar with (i.e. desk, computer, business-y work tasks) didn't seem to be in the cards. I applied to well over 50 job posting on a few of the country's most popular job search portals, but alas nothing came to fruition. A few local friends warned me to temper my expectations; Vietnam was still suffering from a slumped economy. When I added in other factors such as a growing, well-educated, English-speaking local labor pool, a potential decline in the number of expats hired, and what seemed, at least based on the various job descriptions I came across, to be a preference among multinational corporations to hire expats specifically for upper level management jobs, it became clear that finding employment would take much longer than either of us expected.
Since my student loans weren't going to pay themselves, and also since it's a good idea for Thuy and I to live in the same place, I, too, decided to fold my hand.
Upsides In Either Direction
The decision to come home is very much bittersweet. Personally speaking, I've had an absolute blast living here. I've learned a lot about myself, made new friends, gained new memories and experiences, etc. etc. I really could've seen myself living here for a couple more years had the right job materialized and were Thuy to stay and enjoy her time here. Saying the goodbyes, packing, and boarding the plane home will definitely make for sad times.
Don't even get me started on the emotional tempest that will occur when I teach my last Krav class to the OBV girls. I'm already dreading that day. They probably won't cry. I, on the other hand, will be absolutely inconsolable.
That said, there's certainly a lot for us to look forward to in coming home. We'd be fooling ourselves if we said that we didn't think about Seattle and all that makes us love it (*ahem*, you) on a regular basis. Thuy's excited to get back to work healing people; I'm equally as curious to see what my next career move will be. We're both anxious to host dinner parties, join game nights, catch up with family, and, of course, get our asses kicked in Krav Maga.
Don't Question My Fidelity Please, ktxsbye
Time for a personal request that's going to take the form of a rant. If you read my post "Vietnamese Women in Vietnam Aren't Homewreckers," then you'll know why this is a touchy subject for me that warrants a few paragraphs.
Asinine questions of the "are you sure that you want to leave your husband alone in Vietnam" variety have already been tossed about by a small few among those who have gotten word of our return plans.
Let us assure you that we're both fine with this plan. We're still married. Nothing is afoot. We recognize the challenges of a long-distance relationship, and we're ready to face them for all of three months.
Most people who will learn of our plan will inherently know this without us having to explain ourselves or make assurances that our marriage is still intact. Sadly, there will be those who will openly question this decision, be it with us directly or with others in gossip, in order to create doubt and drama veiled as care and concern.
The moment you start asking those questions, you're 1) being obnoxious, 2) creating unnecessary unease, and 3) questioning my fidelity for absolutely no good reason than to share your own personal opinions and potentially unfounded hearsay about the risks of letting married foreign males live in (or even visit) Vietnam alone.
On point #3, know that when you question my fidelity, you also question my integrity. If you consider yourself a friend to either of us, then you'll exercise restraint.
Don't insert your opinion about what you would do or wouldn't let me do if you were in our position, because I promise you that Thuy and I will not care. Do engage us for dinner, games, drinks, Vietnamese language practice (for me), and general merrymaking.
Three Months Alone in Saigon...What Ever Will You Do?
I'm a pro at keeping myself busy. Here's what I got planned for myself between May and August:
- Continue taking Vietnamese classes three times a week, and study for the Level C Vietnamese proficiency exam (highest/hardest level, 'natch).
- Continue hosting the Vietnamese T.V. program Việt Nam Đất Nước Tôi Yêu for as long as they will invite me to do it.
- Continue teaching Krav Maga to the OBV girls, and find my replacement to take over the Krav class.
- Continue training in Muay Thai, and potentially participate in the quadrennial Muay Thai instructor training program (if it's held before I leave).
- Continue with singing lessons, and try to get one song formally recorded in a studio.
- Salsa dance my ass off.
- Brush up on my Japanese language skills through the Tonichi Japanese language club.
- Have at least one one-on-one dinner with each of my local friends.
- Write more blog posts.
- Do more podcasts.
- Travel to Cambodia to visit the OBV Cambodia girls one last time.
- Explore, get lost, do more self-discovery, make new friends, and enjoy what time I have left in this wonderful city.
There you have it. We're coming home!
Hi Jake, thanks for your message. I'd be more than happy to answer your questions and share with you any info that'll be of help to you and your wife in planning a similar adventure. I'll send you an email shortly after I hit reply.
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